Late, But Worth the Wait (or, Some Surprise albums of 2013)

Greetings, my metal brothers and sisters; I hope that you’re all well, and that your yule/Christmas/what have you was fun, and that you had a much better New Year’s Day than I did. Word of advice: always check the expiry date.

Nonetheless, it wouldn’t do to simply forego a “goodbye 2013″ post on Me(n)tal-Meltdown (even in February), before carrying on with the rest of the new year. While it is certainly tempting to write about musical highs (Carcass, definitely) and lows (the last Crystal Viper, this time), it’s far more rewarding to focus on but a few¬† – yes, a few – unexpected gems of the year that caught me by surprise.

Let’s do this alphabetically, shall we?
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Live Radar – Black Magician


At the start of the month, after a lengthy chest infection and bout of ‘flu (which had also kept me from updating this blog), I celebrated the end of my sickness by heading down to the Black Magician/Mourning Beloveth show, at the Relentless Garage in Camden. Seeing as how I deserved something to make up for the drudgery of being ill, I was determined not to miss out.

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End of an era – Jeff Hanneman dies



On Thursday May 2nd, 2013, Slayer had released the unfortunate news via their official Twitter and Facebook pages that their guitarist and songwriter Jeff Hanneman had passed away.

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Is anyone really surprised, though??


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And now, Something Completely Different. Or Not. [Blast from the Past]

Those of you who followed me from Invisible Oranges will remember that I would contribute cartoons for a caption contest.

I have no idea what’s become of the contest, though hopefully whatever has happened is for the best. However, I won’t forget that it allowed me to spread my silliness out into the wider world – through the means of random shit going on.

You can check out past examples of the contest


and here

to give an example of some of the madness I exposed people to.

While I’m a bit pressed for time, I remembered that I have this on hand, which didn’t seem to make it into the contest as far as I know.

The caption contest winner would come up with a band for me to draw in the next cartoon, so you can see the likes of Vektor, Absu, and (as above) Morbid Angel and Ghost B.C. together.

One person who had won, chose a band which I knew (and admittedly still do) very little about – Kowloon Walled City. While I searched what I could for decent enough photos of the band, I ended coming up short at the time, but since a cartoon had to be done, I still had to do it.

Due to schedule confusion (of which I’m not entirely guilty, with respect to the long-suffering Kelly Kettering), it didn’t get featured in Invisible Oranges’ caption contest. As far as I know, anyway.

Without further ado – Kowloon Walled City, ladies and germs.

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PSA – Enough, already.

This is reiterating a point that I’ve just made via other websites (okay, FaceBook), but I want to let it out, here:


I’m getting damn tired of the constant cycle of academic research that goes either in favour or against heavy metal and its fans, as well as the need of metalheads to constantly defend it in he case of the former.

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She’s singin’ my song, Sam…

Before we get back into the swing of things, here’s another look at male and female singing energy, with Metalucifer and Crystal Viper!

In this corner, we have the original song from Japanese old school heavy metallers, Metalucifer, fronted by Gezolucifer (Masaki Tachi):

And in this corner, a cover of their song from fellow heavy metalheads (and friends) Crystal Viper, which is fronted by Marta Gabriel

(Interesting how she also tries to mimic Masaki’s Japanese accent, too… )

Under the Freezing Moon (on the motorway)

(Oh, alright. Here’s yet another black metal joke (art not mine)




I don’t know about you, but England is currently in chaos due to heavy snow showers this time of year. Faced with circumstances that would make the average Scandinavian, Latvian, Russian or Canadian shrug and carry on, the country is struggling to continue life with snow affecting the roads and whole towns to the point of near lockdown (if you will). There are even some reports that there’ll be a few miniature blizzards, around the southern regions.

Albion isn’t as savvy with this weather as it used to be a century ago, and it shows.

It’s even pushed me to that special, idle space of curiosity, where one can’t seem to resist the urge to google up song names with the word ‘blizzard’, ‘ice’ or ‘frost’. Well, not exactly… in my case, I do what everyone else does and use Metal-Archives.


Let’s pick one of these words, though… how about ‘blizzard’?

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Adios, 2012


Friends, minions, lackies; your Mistress of Light Darkness and Dark Light has returned with more words of wisdom to bestow upon you, before we descend into the uncertain cavern that shall be named 2013.

If someone with broken English is happy to see you at a gig, don’t make eye contact.

If some person with broken English tries to proposition you about your reasons for being at a gig, don’t make eye contact. Or rather, do make eye contact, but try not to freak out if you can’t understand a thing he’s saying (or if he’s speculating right o your face your actual motives for being there).

Black Sabbath lawyers jokes are not funny – they are fact.

Take a ball of red thread with you for big, indoor festivals. Bread crumbs will only get smooshed into the plastic flooring.

If some idiot grabs your arse and makes you so uncomfortable that you miss a band playing that song you’ve wanted to see live for ages – don’t get angry. Just put out a search warrant for their capture, so that they can be pelted with hoards of rotten, soft vegetables and fruit (these are the hardest to wash out, after all).

2012 has been an… interesting year, to say the least. It wasn’t without its downsides, but it also wasn’t without its high points.

As a whole, 2012 marks the year when

*Keith Deen, the original vocalist of speed metal band Holy Terror lost against cancer (for those of you who like your speed raw and energetic, it might also interest you to check out Holy Terror from the US)

*Mike Scaccia died doing what he loved – playing guitar during a Rigor Mortis show

*Thin Lizzy decided to stop making music under their name, in respect to Phil Lynott

*After a few years with the band, Robert Lowe has finally left Candlemass, due to issues over their live performances.

*And of course… one of the biggest musical fiascos in a while (see above commentary regarding lawyers).

But this was also a year when

*Pentagram made another return to the UK, for live shows

*new friends were made, in scenes near and far

*Asphyx released ‘Deathhammer’

*the spirit and brotherhood of heavy metal stayed alive and well, despite the odds

*a friend, after leaving her old job at Terrorizer, set off to start a new ‘zine of her own, Iron Fist

So now the clock has passed and by the time you read this, it’s now 2013. I hope that you all will have a brilliant year, and remember to keep the scene alive. Go to live shows, buy albums, buy merchandise, just support bands and be there, in person. If you can’t be there, still support them and buy their albums.

I wish you a a Happy New Year. May it rock.

Season’s Greetings, on behalf of Me(n)tal-Meltdown





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