The Thing That Should Not Be

…or should it?

Originally, this was going to be a post about Metallica, which was to contribute to the many other posts out there on the Internet about Metallica. In particular, it was going to be a commentary on their collaboration (accurately, mash up) with Lou Reed, formerly of the Velvet Underground.

Those of you who have yet to hear this “project”, have a listen to the released single right here.

The commentary was to entail how I feel disillusioned with Metallica’s current efforts, but in fairness this came about not from their recent, inferior fare but a combination of reading more about the band’s history, watching ‘Some Kind Of Monster’ and picking up on what the hell other metalheads were going on about when they praised the Cliff Burton era.

Not to mention discovering what else thrash had to offer.

Nonetheless, I was prepared to delve into a post where I’d likely pour much of my heart out into a long, self-reflective lament on losing that special part of my youth to reality…

then a friend of mine had posted this.

“Forget LuLu”, I thought. THIS is the Thing That Should Not Be!

Japanese schoolgirls dancing and performing perky, slightly autotuned J-Pop alongside repetitive, unremarkable nu-metal guitar riffs. Hell has frozen over, if it hasn’t been committed to the hospital for all the saccharine in its system.

Okay, it’s likely I’m being harsh. My friend certainly thought so, as he pointed out that they’re kids and that this was thus children’s entertainment on par with Hevisaurus (that other atrocity from Finland, next to a few others).

Blabbermouth lists the group’s name as BabyMetal, and adds that the girls go by the monikers Su-Metal (aged 13), MoaMetal (aged 12) and YuiMetal (also aged 12).

The mainstream – whichever climate it belongs to – will never, ever actually understand metal music let alone the differences between speed metal, actual death metal or even dubious metalcore (you know it’s true). On the other hand, as said above my friend who is more metal than me reckons I’m being much too harsh on them.

How many of you agree with me though, that this brand of modern, mainstream metal shouldn’t be allowed to exist in the first place – should we try to rally against this sort of thing? Or, bearing in mind that these are just kids after all, leave them be in the hopes that they’ll grow up to realise their own mistakes, even if it means they never liked heavy rock or metal all along and want to stick to regular J-Pop music?

Or should we just gather up more tomatoes to launch at Lars Ulrich’s face?

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